Thursday, 4 April 2013

"You're too Quiet!"

"You're too quiet" "Why don't you talk much" "You need to be louder"

These are all comments that I here aimed at me on a regular basis and to be perfectly honest. I am sick of it. You never hear people telling loud people that they talk too much and are being serious about it. People think that being quiet and not very talkative is some kind of flaw that needs to be fixed and as a result often try and get me up to do crazy things as an attempt to try and make me 'come out of my shell'  
A perfect example of this is pulling me up to do karaoke when I'm at parties. They think if I do this, I will be a more confident person when in actual fact I am quite confident, but I am content with being quiet. I don't think that I have to make conversation just to make conversation or to fill the silence and I don't think that every time there is a silence it is suddenly and 'Awkward Silence'. My friends are very loud and outgoing people and the biggest observation I have made (because I can be in their presence without feeling the need to talk) is that whenever there is no talking or conversation happening within the group it is suddenly awkward. Why is that? I have no idea, but it irritates me, because they try an make me feel like I have to make conversation, just so they can hear some form of the English language. 
With all that being said, I am a shy person. I know I just said that I am confident, but around new people or people I don't know very well I am extremely shy and it takes a while for me to warm up to them, but in that time I am still very content with staying quiet.
 A misconception about shy and/or quiet people that really REALLY frustrates me, is the fact that people often confuses this as people who are socially awkward and boring. I am not boring and I am not socially awkward. I can be a lot of fun and I know how to talk and interact with the human species, it's just that I don't have an interest in anything some people like to talk about. When I find some kind of common interest with a person, then BAM! I can and will most definitely talk and who knows, maybe throw in a couple jokes throughout, that may or may not be funny, but either way this is not the description of a boring or awkward person. 
Although I can be shy, I am not anti social and this is the next big, insulting misconception people make about me. They think that because I don't join in on group conversations that are about things I know nothing about, that I am anti social and don't like the interaction and company of other people, when this couldn't be any further from the truth. I do like being in other peoples company and just because I'm quiet and content, doesn't mean that I sit at home in the dark all by myself, fearing and being paranoid about coming into contact with another human.
The final reason I am quiet and don't talk much, which is probably very true for many people like me.Is that ...
Maybe  I just don't like you.